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"No seriously, is anyone listening to me? I did other stuff than just farming too you know! I tried being an architect and a sculptor and a gamer and…"
imagine niagara falls….. but chocolate milk
….but my period
i love catfish so much because they act like theyre fbi agents or something when theyre really just using reverse google image search
i thought you meant the animal and let me tell you that was a wild minute of me trying to figure out the psychology of fish thinking they’re federal law enforcement
M E R C U R Y P O W E R M A K E U P!
If u think someone (me) is cute you should tell them (me)
fruit of the loom commercials get weirder every year
go into a starbucks in NYC and say very loudly into your phone “this movie script is stale and trite! we need some new talent, someone with a fresh outlook” and wait
Professor: Your essay must be 3,000 - 6,000 words
being 20+ on tumblr
i thought i was the only horny sarcastic introverted genius third wheel stuck up asshole until i discovered this blue internet support group and i’ve been an active member of it since then
i just saw this bird fly down from the heavens in a majestic sweep and then it tried to eat a rock. what a beautiful loser
"I’m full, do you want my dessert"
"i’m not a feminist because i don’t hate men"